We’ve all heard the myth about the baby that drifts off to slumber with no problems and then sleeps through the night. Just like the unicorn and big foot, I figured it was all make believe.
So with the birth of my twin girls, would mine sleep the sleep of angels or would they put Mom and Dad through the up all night blues? As it turns out, I got to experience both. Katy goes to sleep like Dad does after staying up the previous night watching the James Bond movie marathon on cable, meaning easily and like a rock. An atomic blast wouldn’t wake that child up.
But Lauren, on the other hand, holds on to the last moments of wakefulness as if closing her eyes and not seeing Daddy making funny faces is too much to bear. I can remember one night in particular when Lauren went ballistic and then both girls fought me tooth and nail at beddy-bye time. I served my country in the U.S. Army Reserves and even that in no way prepared for the battle that took place that night.
I tried walking them, bouncing them and even feeding them. They teased me with one drifting off only to have the other one then take up the baton and start crying. I began to feel like I was stuck in a WWE Texas-Cage-To the Death-Wrestling-Match and it was I being counted out on the mat. Finally I resorted to holding them while watching late night infomercials and they finally drifted off to sleep. At a quarter till five in the morning.
So what to do? There are as many theories on the best approach to getting your child to fall asleep and then keep them that way, as there are theories on how to lose weight. And most are about as effective, meaning not at all.
Some work, but you pay a penalty for them later. One is letting your newborn sleep in bed with you. For one, it’s dangerous. I flip back and forth at night more than a pancake at a waffle house. Putting a newborn near me while sleeping could be disastrous for the child’s health.
And once you let them start sleeping in bed with you, it is next to impossible to get them to sleep in their own rooms. A former coworker of mine did this and her kids were still crowding the queen size bed when they were nearing kindergarten age. That sure puts a cramp in the romance tonight thing, let me tell you.
Our veterinarian used the old load ‘em up and ship ‘em out trick. When his kids wouldn’t go to sleep he would put them in their car seats and strap them down in the minivan for a quick trip around the neighborhood. He said they were asleep before he even pulled out of the driveway. While this works, it really rolls up the miles in the minivan if you have to do it every night.
In their book Your Baby’s First Year, Week by Week, Glade B. Curtis, M.D. and Judith Schuler, M.S. suggest several things. One is to establish a routine. Try and do the same thing every night when you put them to bed, such as a bath, saying their prayers or singing to them.
Another thing they suggest is if you have to feed your little one during the night, keep the lights low and the sounds soft (meaning that watching a replay of Super Bowl XX on ESPN Classic at full blast is out).
And the hardest suggestion they give is to allow babies to try and soothe themselves back to sleep. It is common for newborns to wake up 5 or 6 times a night. Most babies don’t have a problem sleeping; it’s a problem with soothing themselves. They recommend waiting at least 5 minutes after the baby starts crying before you go in to lend a hand. Then each night you increase the time before going into their room. And with any luck, before long they will be sleeping like Rip Van Winkle himself.
But this is easier said than done. I have to duct tape my wife to the bed to keep her from running in the moment the girls start crying. I ended up reconditioning their sleep while my wife was out of town on a business trip. It’s hard. It’s like watching Gigli over and over and being told you cant turn it off. But in the end it was the only thing that worked.
It took 4 nights before Lauren got in the habit of going right to sleep and then sleeping through the night without us coming in to rock her or hold her. Now that both sleep through the night, Mom and Dad can rest a little easier. Keep in mind, if you have any thoughts your child’s crying at night might be due to a medical issue; be sure to consult your pediatrician.
So if you want to Rip Van Winkle your kids, you have to be prepared to go through a little agony first. After all, no pain no gain. And if you have one of those mythical babies that sleeps through the night on their own remember two words: walk softly.
