Stay at Home Dad

Hell Week

2005-03-16T22:33:00.000-05:00

We just finished Hell week at our house. Actually, Hell Month almost. Almost 4 weeks ago, I caught a sever cold. Worst I have ever had. Then Katy got it, them Mom and then Lauren. Toss in week two, Mom got migrains and after week two whem my cold left, I cam down with bronchitis.

We are all just now getting back to normal. Thankfully, neither twin had colds as bad as Dad's. Any other horror stories out there?

Short, but funny

2005-02-07T09:03:00.000-05:00

Katy got my keys off of the counter. When I told my wife, she asked if Katy had accidentaly turned on the silent alarm.

I said, "How would I know, it's silent."

In sickness and in health

2005-01-31T23:30:00.000-05:00

In sickness and in health applies more to your kids than your spouse. In my case, when my wife gets sick, I have minimul duties other than to keep the meds flowing and let her sleep.

In the case of my kids, I have a lot more to do. Katy came down with a 106 degree fever this past week. That meant giving her a bath to get her temp down, getting her dressed and to the emergency room, picking up the prescription while holding a tired baby at 2 am and then holding her until 7 am when she finally fell asleep. Then getting up at 10 am to help with her sister while my wife went on to work.

When my wife is sick, I don't have to hold her, rock her to sleep, dress her etc. Toddlers need that and more. So when you have kids, remember, its in sickness and in health. Especially the sickness!

New Year Resolutions

2005-01-12T14:40:00.000-05:00

My New Year Resolutions:

1. To get the girls potty trained.

2. To get them using a spoon at meal time. (Forks way to dangerous yet).

3. To find time to golf (like losing weight, this will not likely happen)

4. To get the twins singing at least one Elvis tune by December.

Funny how your resolutions change once you have kids.

Christmas Eve

2004-12-24T21:26:00.000-05:00

It’s Christmas Eve, there is snow on the ground, presents under the tree and the twins are snuggled in their beds dreaming of sugar plumbs.

Well, probably not sugar plumbs as we keep sugar to a minimum around the kids. But you get the picture.

As the twins get ready to celebrate their second Christmas, it’s almost like their first. That’s because last year they were to small to really appreciate what it means to wake up with tons of toys to unwrap. The thing they loved the most last year, wasn’t their new stuffed animals, their Baby Einstein DVD’s etc. It was the bows and paper.

So tomorrow, Mom and Dad are looking forward to the morning almost as much as they are. I cant wait to see if it’s another bow and paper year or if they will really play with the toys this time!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Run Silent Run Deep

2004-12-22T16:30:00.000-05:00

Most stay at home dads learn quickly that it’s not what you hear, but what you don’t hear that gets your attention. You would think that listening for crying, load noises and fights with twins would be what would really get your attention. And it does.

But not nearly as much as the sound of silence, nothing, run silent run deep type quiet. This means that not only are the girls doing something they aren’t supposed to, but that they KNOW they aren’t supposed to.

Take yesterday for instance. They were playing in their room while I was getting some PC work done. After a few minutes, my daddy radar kicked in. Nothing. I was hearing nothing.

When I went into the hallway, I found the girls had found a way to open the spare bedroom door. This is the room we were keeping all my wife’s craft makings, Christmas gifts and any other assorted item that was being moved around because of Christmas.

The girls were back under the craft table happily opening boxes and rummaging through stuff. They were very proud of themselves.
Thankfully they had not gotten to the glitter yet. Amen, Glory Halleluiah. So when your kids are quiet when they should be loud, don’t wait to find out why!

How to Rip Van Winkle Your Kids

2004-12-17T23:23:00.000-05:00

We’ve all heard the myth about the baby that drifts off to slumber with no problems and then sleeps through the night. Just like the unicorn and big foot, I figured it was all make believe.

So with the birth of my twin girls, would mine sleep the sleep of angels or would they put Mom and Dad through the up all night blues? As it turns out, I got to experience both. Katy goes to sleep like Dad does after staying up the previous night watching the James Bond movie marathon on cable, meaning easily and like a rock. An atomic blast wouldn’t wake that child up.

But Lauren, on the other hand, holds on to the last moments of wakefulness as if closing her eyes and not seeing Daddy making funny faces is too much to bear. I can remember one night in particular when Lauren went ballistic and then both girls fought me tooth and nail at beddy-bye time. I served my country in the U.S. Army Reserves and even that in no way prepared for the battle that took place that night.

I tried walking them, bouncing them and even feeding them. They teased me with one drifting off only to have the other one then take up the baton and start crying. I began to feel like I was stuck in a WWE Texas-Cage-To the Death-Wrestling-Match and it was I being counted out on the mat. Finally I resorted to holding them while watching late night infomercials and they finally drifted off to sleep. At a quarter till five in the morning.

So what to do? There are as many theories on the best approach to getting your child to fall asleep and then keep them that way, as there are theories on how to lose weight. And most are about as effective, meaning not at all.

Some work, but you pay a penalty for them later. One is letting your newborn sleep in bed with you. For one, it’s dangerous. I flip back and forth at night more than a pancake at a waffle house. Putting a newborn near me while sleeping could be disastrous for the child’s health.

And once you let them start sleeping in bed with you, it is next to impossible to get them to sleep in their own rooms. A former coworker of mine did this and her kids were still crowding the queen size bed when they were nearing kindergarten age. That sure puts a cramp in the romance tonight thing, let me tell you.

Our veterinarian used the old load ‘em up and ship ‘em out trick. When his kids wouldn’t go to sleep he would put them in their car seats and strap them down in the minivan for a quick trip around the neighborhood. He said they were asleep before he even pulled out of the driveway. While this works, it really rolls up the miles in the minivan if you have to do it every night.

In their book Your Baby’s First Year, Week by Week, Glade B. Curtis, M.D. and Judith Schuler, M.S. suggest several things. One is to establish a routine. Try and do the same thing every night when you put them to bed, such as a bath, saying their prayers or singing to them.

Another thing they suggest is if you have to feed your little one during the night, keep the lights low and the sounds soft (meaning that watching a replay of Super Bowl XX on ESPN Classic at full blast is out).

And the hardest suggestion they give is to allow babies to try and soothe themselves back to sleep. It is common for newborns to wake up 5 or 6 times a night. Most babies don’t have a problem sleeping; it’s a problem with soothing themselves. They recommend waiting at least 5 minutes after the baby starts crying before you go in to lend a hand. Then each night you increase the time before going into their room. And with any luck, before long they will be sleeping like Rip Van Winkle himself.

But this is easier said than done. I have to duct tape my wife to the bed to keep her from running in the moment the girls start crying. I ended up reconditioning their sleep while my wife was out of town on a business trip. It’s hard. It’s like watching Gigli over and over and being told you cant turn it off. But in the end it was the only thing that worked.

It took 4 nights before Lauren got in the habit of going right to sleep and then sleeping through the night without us coming in to rock her or hold her. Now that both sleep through the night, Mom and Dad can rest a little easier. Keep in mind, if you have any thoughts your child’s crying at night might be due to a medical issue; be sure to consult your pediatrician.

So if you want to Rip Van Winkle your kids, you have to be prepared to go through a little agony first. After all, no pain no gain. And if you have one of those mythical babies that sleeps through the night on their own remember two words: walk softly.

The all situations seasoning

2004-12-16T22:32:00.000-05:00

I don’t know how parents got their kids to eat anything before the invention of ketchup. We have been trying to expand the twins eating options, but they have been very hesitant to try new things.

For example, I fixed tatter tots for lunch. They both took a tentative bite, then nothing. At 17 months of age, I have no doubts there was little I would not eat. But my girls? Nodda.

As I was looking in the fridge for option number two, I saw the ketchup bottle, just begging to be used. I thought, what the heck. Let’s give it a try.

After dipping a few tots in the tangy red sauce, I put them on their highchair trays and sat back.

Once again, tentative small bites. And then it happened. Two handed, as fast as you can feed me style eating.

I couldn’t get the tots on their trays fast enough. Wont the Heinz ketchup people love my girls!
So, when in doubt, add a little ketchup to the meal. I wonder how well it will work with broccoli???

Questions about Van DVD players

2004-12-08T17:05:00.000-05:00

I have a question for those of you who read this blog that have DVD players in your van. Have you found them to be worth the cost? Or are they expensive add ons that just aren't worth it.

We are thinking of adding a system to our van for longer trips. So I would appreciate any comments the world at large has on the subject.

Dude, Where's your dress?

2004-12-03T13:36:00.000-05:00

I have never thought I would look very good in a dress. Maybe it’s because I just don’t have the legs for it. I am certainly not shaving mine. And I could never get my feet in those high heel stilettos, size 10 and a half. And no manner of jewelry or hats could do justice to my goatee.

But I knew that’s just what this guy was thinking. I had just handed coupons to the check out clerk at my local grocery store when he smirked and asked, “Your wife made you use those, didn’t she?” When I responded that no she didn’t and that I even cut them out myself, you could see the thought “Dude, where’s your dress” was running through his mind.

I can only imagine what he would have thought if he had known I was a stay at home dad of twin baby girls. Lets face it: my generation’s idea of the perfect stay at home parent was June Cleaver, Beaver’s mom. Wearing a dress with pearls while cooking and cleaning, she was the mom everyone dreamed of.

Today’s generation X-ers are more likely to think of Marge Simpson who is able to keep Homer and Bart alive from one day to the next while keeping her striking blue hair perfectly quaffed.

But neither generation would think of a burly gray bearded dad as the first choice. While there are more and more of us every year, stay at home dads are almost as mysterious as the duck billed platypus. A curiosity for sure, but most people don’t know what to make of us.

At first, my friends and family were supportive. Most admitted later that was only because they thought I would never go through with it. But as the time for my wife’s maternity leave came to an end and it became time to hand in my two-week notice, concern for my mental health increased.

During one Friday night poker game, the guys tried hard to talk me out of it. They pointed out it wouldn’t be nearly as easy as I thought it was. The funny thing is, I never thought it would be easy, far from it. Spending the next several years at home doing a job neither my forefathers nor I trained for would be far from easy. Add to it I am far from the most graceful person in the world (meaning they don’t send me to the store to pick up eggs) and there were would be more than a few challenges.

But that’s the great thing about being a stay at home dad: the challenges. And being able to teach your children to pull for the right sports teams, to play golf and to sing all of James Taylor’s songs. Oh, and there’s that whole education thing to teach them, too.

But just like women were forced to break through the “glass ceiling” men have to climb the “Huggies Mountain”. I now have a good idea what it must’ve been like for women when they first entered traditionally male-dominated fields like firefighting, police work or construction.
Which brings me back to the supermarket clerk. I wonder if he gave any thought to the fact that not too many years ago a male cashier at a grocery store was not natural either. Bring on the challenge and bring on double coupon days!

Identically different

2004-12-02T13:16:00.000-05:00

When most people think of twins, they think of identical twins. Look the same, act the same. Wear the same clothes, finish each other’s sentences.

But there are two types of twins, identical and fraternal. In some cases fraternal twins don’t always look alike. Out daughters are fraternal. They share the same killer blue eyes (Lord knows this will cause me grief when they are of dating age, say around the age of forty), the same noses and the same last name.

But beyond that, they are as different as night and day. Katy's long thick hair has been cut 5 times and needs another one. Lauren’s thin fine hair has had one cut and that mostly only her bangs.

Katy is a string bean and taller. Lauren is more compact and is about 4 pounds lighter.

Katy is an extrovert, always talking, even to strangers (something dad will have to watch closely as she gets older). Lauren is shyer, more of an introvert. Perhaps she will help keep her sister out of trouble.

Katy walked first. Lauren learned to point to things first. The two really are as different as the proverbial night and day.

But to anyone that knows my wife and I, this is no surprise. We are completely different as well and it seems our twin girls are keeping the family tradition going.

So when you think of twins, thinking of the many ways they are the same, always remember they are individuals as well, identically differnt.

Virus attack?

2004-12-01T14:39:00.000-05:00

I am really paranoid about protecting my PC from viruses and spyware. I have Norton’s Antivirus, I have Pest Patrol to eliminate spyware. I keep my Windows Updates, well, up to date.

So imagine my surprise and shock when the other afternoon, while in the middle of setting up a music server on my PC, my machine starts to shut down on its own, each program crashing and me possibly losing an afternoon’s worth of work.

Was it a virus? Did the new Blaster Worm hit my machine? As it turns out, it was the Silent Katy 2004 virus.

Katy, the oldest of the twins by two minutes had very quietly moved to sit next to me and my PC (it sets on the floor because her mother, Lord only knows why, doesn’t want it setting on the desk itself) and decided that pushing in the button with the flashing green light would be fun. And of course, to keep pushing it, thus shutting down my machine.

Just goes to show you, that no matter how much you work to protect things from without, it’s the stuff from within that can trip you up.

Stay at Home Dad

2004-11-17T17:47:00.000-05:00

Neither rain, hail, sleet or snow could keep me from my appointed rounds. That was the creed I lived by for nearly 16 years a rural letter carrier for the United States Postal Service.

But the birth of twin baby girls, did what no amount of bad weather could do: keep me home!

When my wife gave birth to Katy and Lauren, we decided one of us should stay home and take care of the twins. While I had a very good job, my wife’s job was even better. So here I am!

I have created this blog to chart the daily joys, triumphs and tribulations of my wanderings through the wilderness of being a stay at home dad.

I look forward to your comments. So lets get started!